Montgomery (@cowboy_montg), who was abused by a teacher as a high school student, joins Here & Now's Robin Young to discuss why she sees the movie as a "deftly directed, beautifully photographed, wonderfully acted master class in sexual predation and abuse. He was aware of being an older man touching a younger man who was uncomfortable with said touching (though not for the reason Oliver thought). I recently rewatched CMBYN and followed it up by reading some reviews and articles. Even so, Oliver is keenly feeling the impropriety, not only of fooling around with a younger man but more specifically fooling around with his host's teenage son. Yes, that issue has been dealt with and yes it adds more complications to an already completed situation. Call Me by Your Name is the love story of 17 year old Elio and 24 year old grad student, Oliver. Elio is conscious of his attraction to Oliver by the time he's boasting over breakfast that he almost had sex with Marzia. Double standards yes. Elio and Oliver know that summer must come to a close, and with that, their relationship as well. In regards to his experience, I saw Oliver's sexual confidence as something he'd built up with girls. Some, including author Cheyenne Montgomery, say they're disturbed by the age difference between the two protagonists — one portrayed as a boy, the other a man. He establishes himself as a stud the moment he arrives in Italy and I'm sure he had just as many female admirers in America. Elio hides his Judaism; Oliver proudly wears a Star of David. No one seems to have an issue with that movie. This is why I love this subreddit. The age dif has never been an issue in my eyes. Aciman is just as forthright when it comes to discussing criticisms that the relationship between Elio and Oliver is predatory given their seven-year age gap. ", On those who see the film as depicting a beautiful, end-of-summer romance, "I would say that it's not a question of a gray-area age gap. ", On what she's heard from people about her story, "A lot of people contact me directly because they appreciate what I've said, and they maybe identify with my story, and I know from my own experience that when you start hearing other people's stories, it makes it easier to tell your own. Or movies like The Reader which had a far more disparate age range. When he stops Elio from going any further than kissing, Oliver insists that he wants to be good. When he tells Elio, "I know myself, and we've been good," think he's saying that he knows he's not going to be able to resist Elio for much longer if Elio keeps coming onto him. And it reminded me of my own experience, because it was word for word what my abuser said to me over and over again. The story is set between London and France during WW2. So while I'm sure Oliver knew he was attracted to guys before Elio came along (while Elio perhaps only discovers his bisexuality through his feelings for Oliver) I doubt that Oliver was ever as bold about it at Elio's age. Many reviews have focused on the complicated nature of Elio and Oliver’s relationship––that being the seven-year age gap between the two––but have yet to factor in the cultural differences that the location of the movie being in brings into play. Elio is the pushy one and when it becomes clear Elio isn't going to let up, Oliver's main retort is "Grow up". ... Gap Pink Striped Button-Down. the film exploits the controversial nature of the age-gap between the two protagonists, Elio (seventeen) and Oliver (twenty-four), alluding to the ancient institution of pederasty as its aesthetic defense. ", "Like Elio, I was precocious. And in this context I think Oliver feels it would be bad to take advantage of Elio's blatant desire for him while staying in his family's home more so than Oliver feels the gay sex aspect is bad. . But first, a warning to anyone who was put off between Elio and Oliver’s age gap in CMBYN: Find Me book may not be for you. On the other hand, I hear a lot of people who are upset with me. Just because something's technically legal doesn't make it ethical. The disparity becomes much clearer at age thirty: at that point, the gap for queer couples hits almost seven years, the difference between Oliver and Elio. Elio's age definitely plays into it though, esp. 'Pretty Little Liars' is another example where you have a student and a teacher being featured in a romance. Advertisements. Same with his confidence that they didn't make too much noise and Mafalda isn't going to find any signs. Not just the oblivious size difference - Elio gets a nosebleed after revealing his feelings, Elio throws up when they get drunk together, Elio masturbates and has casual sex with Marzia because he's horny all the time, Elio cries in several scenes while Oliver puts on a brave face. However in other ways it's Elio who has more power in their relationship. From the beginning, the two have a love-hate relationship; an unspoken emotional tension exists between them. Elio is Jewish but Oliver isn’t, for plot reasons. Call Me By Your Name author André Aciman has opened up about what he believes is “the end” of Elio and Oliver’s story in his new sequel novel. I think ppl are more prone to look the other way if it’s a 24 year old boy and a 17 year old girl. It's happens in this little town in Italy it feels like money doesn't even exists And to the power part even though Oliver is a doctoral candidate and elio is just seventeen it never felt to me like there was an imbalance, like you said Oliver is more distanced but it's only because he hides his feelings not because he's not vulnerable. Good point! Call Me By Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017), based on the 2007 novel by Andre Aciman, it is both coming-of-age story and romantic drama. This suggests to me that the main thing that's been holding Oliver back is his concern that Elio isn't grown up enough. 15 years on from the OG peach fucking, Elio now lives in Paris. The novel chronicles their summer romance and the 20 years that follow. Elio is 17-years-old and Oliver is 24-years-old. Oliver, is 24 (and from what I've heard, Oliver is an American) so that means he's been raised in a culture where the age of majority is 18 (and even then, its still frowned upon to date someone who's still in their teens, even if they are of age). I just dread the thought of havingmessed you up. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That’s how it came to me. It’s a bit problematic but then I wish the same lens went on other movies. The characters themselves know it's an issue and they don't hand-wave it. I don't think Luca should have "sugar coated" the age gap by making Elio 19. Elio doesn't quite get it (even though he thinks he does), but Oliver knows that their queerness is not all that makes this relationship complicated. In Italy, where the movie takes place, the age of consent is 14; it was also 14 in 1983, when the movie is set. This article was originally published on February 15, 2018. But we also have seen 'Riverdale,' it's an Archie Comics turned into a TV show, and the first season of it features the main character, Archie, romantically involved with his teacher. The age gap is further emphasized by Elio being more physically and emotionally vulnerable than Oliver. But in fact, an adult has the ability to ... the adult is developmentally in a position where they are able to play with a teenager's emotions in a way that a teenager can't even really understand what's happening. So I decided to not tag it "underage". The fact that Call Me By Your Name should be so widely perceived as a beautiful romance is absolutely terrifying.---Not because Oliver and Elio are men. I feel I should add to my OP that I don't think that age gaps in relationships are always an issue. "If I paired the age of Elio in the film with the age of Timothée, in three years' time, Timothée will be 25, as would Elio by the time the second story was set", he said. For those in their mid-to-early twenties, the average age gap for queer couples is around three to five years, whereas the age gap for straight couples runs closer to two or three years. And I understand how difficult it is to not see good representation of yourself. I see most of the first exchange as Oliver's concern about Elio not having had a same-sex experience before, as if he could be seen as initiating Elio into a queer lifestyle, which, due to his internalized homophobia / the era, he sees as a potentially unhappy thing. 17-year-old Elio (Timothée Chalamet) falls for 24-year-old graduate-student assistant Oliver (Armie Hammer), who is staying at his family’s house over the summer to help out his Elio’s father. How old is oliver in the movie call me by your name For a few weeks now, as the Call Me By Your Name craze has penetrated the airwaves, there have been discussions about the notorious age gap between both protagonists. Kimberly Jones accepts the age gap and Elio's minority on the grounds of a more permissive environment at the time and Italian age of consent law. "I just don’t want to regret any of it—including what you wouldn’t let me talk about this morning. His father is clearly okay with his son experimenting. His attempt at giving Elio a sign (by touching him at the volleyball game) was so clumsy that it was a complete misfire. That said, I've never found it disturbing and ppl who do, well, I think that they should relax more and move on with their lives. Wasn’t that the same ages as the characters in Dirty Dancing? Once Elio confessed his feelings and saw Oliver reciprocated them, he was the one determined to consummate their relationship where as Oliver might've restrained himself. When Elio finally makes a move, Oliver expresses hesitation at becoming involved with Elio due to their age difference, warning Elio (correctly) that he’ll get hurt — but it's not too long before Oliver gives in. I think you're right about this, especially if Oliver has been raised by parents who would have put a queer son in a correctional facility. I think it helps as well that the relationship does not have a money/power imbalance part to it. Partly because he never had Elio's libertine parents and the idyllic bubble of the Italian countryside. the "for you ... it's still fun and games, which it should be" part. I do understand how lonely it can be to be a gay teenager in the '80s. Wasn’t that the same ages as the characters in Dirty Dancing? I’m not sure if Aciman was responding to backlash about the age gap between Elio and Oliver by making Elio date someone even older but it certainly came across that way. At this point, Oliver mostly just cares about how Elio feels about their affair, not anyone else. Image courtesy of Sony Classics. I think there are certain power imbalances at play. "It reminded me of that because, in my head, as a 15-year-old or a 16-year-old, I very much believed that I was in control, and that I was able to consent, and I would say, that's part of being 16, is you have that illusion that you're on top of things. ", "As a 15-year-old or a 16-year-old, I very much believed that I was in control, and that I was able to consent, and I would say, that's part of being 16, is you have that illusion that you're on top of things. If Oliver and Elio were both 16 years older than they are in the movie, their age dif wouldn't be an issue at all. I just think the age dif is an issue in Elio/Oliver's dynamic. Their age gap isn't the only difference. This article is more than 3 years old. ... Gap Pink Striped Button-Down. I agree with you 100%. n. nathaliecorrea1220 Jan 28, 2021. Michel’s almost twice his age – Michel even mentions that … 'Pretty Little Liars,' I didn't see it until my own daughter as a middle schooler was watching it, and I was like, 'Oh, my God.' For me it’s something else which I haven’t figured out, and the fact that I can’t scares me.”. At first sight, to some, this is quite a questionable circumstance, one that makes many even feel guilty about supporting the film. Aciman was deliberate in making Elio 17 and Luca was deliberate in preserving that age different. Not even when they call the teenage half of the couple 'Baby'. It's very confusing for a child. When he goes down on Elio in the doorway, for example, that does not strike me as the move of someone who just had sex with a man for the first time less than twelve hours ago. You're hard again. Oliver was also the outsider. When they finally do have sex, Oliver is constantly checking if Elio is okay, asking for consent or letting Elio make the first move. ". The age gap between Elio and Oliver should be questioned and perhaps make you uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean that Call Me By Your Name should never have been realized.
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